Change Your Attitude And Change Your Life
Posted on June 28, 2008
Filed Under Attitude, Change, Choice, Ego, Enlightenment, How To, Personal Development
The Chant Of The PD Guru’s
Many Personal Development Guru’s chant this mantra unceasingly, yet if this were a straightforward or easy process, well - none of us would have a negative attitude about anything. While most of us have heard this maxim, and probably agree with it in principle, simply comprehending it isn‘t enough. In order to bring about positive change in your life, it must be applied. The first step in changing an attitude is in taking responsibility for it, We must first become accountable to create any real or lasting changes in our reality.
In the following article I look a bit deeper at the source and development of our attitudes and offer tips on how to identify and change them
What Is An Attitude?
An attitude is a mental position we adopt regarding thoughts, ideas, people, feelings, or ourselves. Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors combine to produce our attitudes.
The Truth About Your Attitude
You can only adopt an attitude about something you’ve judged. Attitudes require a judgment to be placed on a certain thought, person, idea, or thing. We judge according to our beliefs, which are basically the inner truths we’ve formed through perception and experience. Every situation and person we encounter is JUDGED mercilessly, based upon these inner beliefs. Is he/she good or bad? Is it right or wrong? Are they LESS than I am or MORE? Do they love me enough? Are their comments favorable or unfavorable to my truths? Is someone treating me well or not? Each judgment then leads to thoughts, which lead to feelings, which lead to outward behaviors; thus is born an attitude.
The Self Serving Nature of Judgment
Most beliefs are based upon a self preserving premise, so most judgments are self-serving. The ego’s role is to preserve the being it resides in (you), and anything judged to be a threat to the well being of YOU is perceived to be BAD, WRONG, HURTFUL, or EVIL. When we think about people, situations, or ideas in this way, it can only lead to feelings against them and behaviors or actions to preserve our “Rightness”, this attitude is made not because of another person or situation outside our self, but because of what is happening within ourselves.
The Game of Perception
It’s a game of association revolving around perception. If someone or something is helpful or useful, we adopt a good accepting attitude. If something is perceived as threatening, then those thoughts create feelings which create certain behaviors; thus a “negative attitude” is adopted. We each have our own unique set of attitudes based upon our past experiences, thoughts, social conditioning, and perceptions. All attitude is dependent upon the past experiences of the individual who holds it.
Taking Inventory
Our attitudes aren’t wrong or right, they just are. Most are developed without conscious thought, so, in order to change an attitude, we must first take a mental inventory of those we hold. We cannot change anything without first recognizing it within ourselves.
Notice your reactions to people and events in your life. Each time you notice your attitude, try to discover why you hold to that attitude. Do you feel threatened? Do you feel “Wronged” by another? Don’t be misled into believing anyone can cause you to have an attitude or to feel a certain way, it all lies within your own mind, hidden in your beliefs and judgments.
Below are Five Tips For Identifying and Changing A Negative Attitude
1. Try to observe contrast rather than judge - When we judge, we do so out of a need to preserve our “Rightness”. If we can forgo the need to be right, and allow ourselves to just observe the contrast, we can suspend the need to judge.
2. Know what pushes your buttons - Try to notice negative feelings and what gives rise to them. Follow those feelings back to the inner beliefs which produced them. We feel angry when we hold beliefs and expectations that we feel are under attack or intruded upon. Remind yourself that although this is how the Ego was designed to function (self preservation), it has become too rigid in it’s functioning and prevents you from realizing inner peace.
3. Learning to let go - When we release ourselves from expectations and rigid belief systems, we free ourselves to adopt a more balanced and positive attitude. Remind yourself that your beliefs and thoughts are not the thoughts and beliefs of others. Nobody has to be “Wrong“, for you to be “Right”. Everyone has there own inner belief system and inner truths. We do not have to accept another’s thoughts, beliefs, or feelings as our own, we simply have to respect their right to have them.
4. Count to ten - Don’t be quick to respond or give an attitude. Get out of the habit of reacting to other people and situations. Attitude is a choice, and when we take a bit of time to think, to consider the source of our thoughts, and to delay our reactions; our attitudes can evolve and change.
5. Realize it is a choice - Your thoughts and feelings are your own. You must take responsibility for them and for everything they create. Rather than shifting blame onto others or outside of self, try to dig deeper into your own belief systems and change the underlying cause.
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